The Master of Blackmoor by Julie Shelton w/Giveaway

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Title: The Master of Blackmoor
Author: Julie Shelton
Series: Standalone Title
Genre: Erotic Gothic Regency Romance w/ BDSM Elements M/F
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: May 23 2017
Edition/Formats: 1st Edition/Format~ eBook
Source: Author for Book Promotion
Blurb/Synopsis:

Danielle Dulac has just been sacked after spurning her employer’s lecherous advances. Penniless and without references, she is desperate to acquire the position of governess at Esterly House on the bleak Yorkshire moors. When the mail coach slides into a ditch in the middle of a blizzard, she is forced to seek shelter at the nearest house, Blackmoor Hall.
But visitors are not welcome at Blackmoor Hall and she gets sent to the stables to shelter from the storm. She is jerked out of sound slumber by a snow-blasted horse bursting into the stall, practically trampling her beneath his slashing hooves.
Anthony Markham, the Duke of Blackmoor, has just returned home after six months of dissolute living in London. He is surly, sarcastic, enigmatic, and hostile. And the most sensuous man Danielle has ever met. The attraction between them is instantaneous, combustible…and forbidden. Though a descendant of French nobility, Danielle is still a mere governess and Anthony Markham is a Duke.
When the position at Esterly House falls through, she has nowhere to go and faces a bleak future. To her shock, it’s Anthony Markham who comes to her rescue, offering her a position as governess to his four-year-old son, Geoffrey. Against her better judgment, she accepts.
She soon discovers that the Master of Blackmoor is haunted by a dark and tragic past filled with lies, betrayal and death. Unfortunately, the past is not over. Evil stalks Blackmoor Hall. The danger is escalating and all the clues point to the Duke himself.
As the passion between Anthony and Danielle rages out of control, so does the peril they face. Will they solve this mystery in time? Or will it wind up destroying them both?

Spotlight Saving his Wolf by Kerry Adrienne (Mated Anthology)

Monday, May 22, 2017
SAVING HIS WOLF by Kerry Adrienne (MATED Anthology)

USA Today bestselling author Kerry Adrienne’s exciting novella in the Shifter Wars series about a woman who is seeking her fate and a man determined to help her discover her true nature.

Title: Saving His Wolf
Author: Kerry Adrienne
Release Date: May 22, 2017
Publisher: Carina Press
Series: Shifter Wars
Genres: Paranormal Romance
Word Count: 30,000
Format: Digital
ISBN: 9781488024399

Synopsis:

Olivia, born blind and without the ability to shift, yearns to seek her own fate away from her watchful and devoted wolf pack. Vulnerable and stuck in human form, she's alone and at risk in the forest's brutal winter when she's rescued by a park ranger and taken to his cabin in Deep Creek. By the warmth of a crackling fire, she's comforted by his presence. But it's his rugged scent that stirs something in her she's never felt before.

Bear shifter Powell sensed the instant he held her that Olivia was his mate. He also knew she had the untapped powers to discover her true shifting nature—if only he could convince her to trust in him, and to believe in herself. Now the one thing that stands to threaten their healing mating hunger is Olivia's distrusting and vigilant pack. A pack prepared to do anything to get her back.

But there is no danger as strong, no desire so liberating as what Powell is bringing out in her—because Olivia can finally see where her destiny lies.

Find out more at: Carina Press | Amazon | Google Play | Kobo | iTunes | B&N

Cover Reveal Broken Little Melodies by Jennifer Ann w/Giveaway

Thursday, May 18, 2017
Will they be able to survive her insecurities and the scrutiny of their friends and family?

Cover Reveal A Broken Promise by Anissa Garcia w/Giveaway

A First Look at A Promise Broken by Anissa Garcia!


In A PROMISE BROKEN, Hilary is in need of a distraction from her wounded heart, and that distraction comes in the form of Zach Collins. The only problem is, he’s her brother’s best friend. Readers will love this standalone contemporary romance, featuring characters seen in A PROMISE KEPT and A PROMISE MADE.

Add A PROMISE BROKEN to your TBR pile on Goodreads! Then keep reading to get a sneak peek at A PROMISE BROKEN  and to enter the giveaway for a $20 Amazon gift card!

Title: A Promise Broken
Author: Anissa Garcia
Genre: Contemporary Romance, New Adult
Release Date: July 10, 2017
Publisher: AG Romance Reads LLC
Series: The Promise Series
Format: Digital and Print
Digital ISBN: 978-0-9975430-5-6
Add it on: Goodreads
Synopsis:
After a relationship gone bad, Hilary Matthews felt unsure about where she belonged or what to do with her life. Cue Zach Collins, a love ‘em and leave ‘em, no strings attached type of guy. The perfect distraction for her wounded heart. Just one problem. Zach isn’t some random stranger. He’s her brother’s best friend, and more than that, he’s practically family.  And to complicate matters, just when things start to heat up between them, she learns there’s more to Zach than he let on.
Zach’s job as assistant to an A-list actor allows him the luxury of women, travel, freedom and fun. But things changed the moment Hilary made her move, completely altering his world. Hilary is his fantasy come to life, his dream woman in the flesh…and his best friend’s little sister. Stepping over the line with her would not only ruin his friendship, but possibly alienate him from the only family he’s ever known.
The pressure mounts as truths are exposed. Embroiled in betrayal, lies, guilt, and heartache, Hilary and Zach must decide if the biggest emotion of all is worth the turmoil. With so much at stake, the repercussions from a promise broken would cause the battle of their lives.

Enter to win a $20 Amazon Gift Card from Anissa Garcia! Three (3) runners-up will receive an eBook of A Promise Kept

Excerpt The Need Series Box Set by K.I. Lynn & N. Isabelle Blanco w/Giveaway

Wednesday, May 17, 2017


Title: The Need Series Box Set
Authors: K.I. Lynn & N. Isabelle Blanco
Genre: New Adult Romance
Release Date: May 16, 2017
Blurb/Synopsis: 

I claimed him as mine when I was only seven years old.
It would end up becoming the most painful thing I’ve ever done in my life.
The boy who became my best friend grew up into the damaged, turbulent man that owns me.
He’s been cruel.
I’ve lashed back.
For years we’ve been trapped in a toxic whirlwind of back and forth heartache.
Why?
Because he’s no longer my best friend.
Years ago, he became my step brother.
Now… He’s the self destruction I desperately need to run from. And the one thing in the world I can’t live without.
He’s a whore and I break, letting him in.
One hit is a gateway drug, and I’m suddenly unable to stay away. So I take what I need from him.
I hate him.
I love him.





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Excerpt

I crack the window and light up a joint. I hit my limit of time around her for today and need to get away, even on a quick high. Something to calm my ass down before I act on what I almost did years ago and just fucking run off with her. Tell the world to fuck off, she’s mine and start a life somewhere else, where no one knows us.
Why is she torturing me? Walking around in two tiny scraps called a bikini making me fucking harder than I’ve ever been. I’m not even going to bring up her skirts, or the damned shorts she wore to the theater.
I’ve beaten it more times than I can count in the last few weeks. So much, I’m surprised there’s anything left to come out.
My foot taps against the floor, my body a live wire of pent-up energy and frustration. A five-mile run and an hour of weights plus one small joint isn’t enough to calm me down. I light up another. A couple of puffs in, the mind-tingling, weighted body, time-slowing takes effect.
I slip down to lie on my bed, letting the pot take it all away. It does the job, with the exception of my hard dick, but it’s been hard since I got within a hundred miles of her. Just knowing I was going to see her gave me a semi.
I’ve been good. I haven’t touched her the way I really want, an incredibly hard thing to do after having kissed her.
Her nipples haven’t been against my tongue; her pussy hasn’t been in my mouth, the way I’m dying for it. It’s so wrong thinking of her this way, but when I imagine how it would be, remember how it felt to kiss her and rub against her—it feels so damn right.
No guy in the universe has ever wanted a girl as much as I want her. I’m sure of it. Denying myself that sweet little body is taking more effort than anything I’ve ever done in my life.
I can’t help the hug that lasted too long or breathing her in; that shit will never go away. She was the one who put my hand on her thigh at the movies—and thank God Ryan interrupted us because I’d been so close to sliding it up and palming her pussy. I would’ve found it wet for me. I know it. Her eyes told me.
The kiss in the hallway is the one thing I take the full blame for. Yes, she was teasing me all night, but that wasn't the only reason I lost it. It was about my jealousy. The rage I felt at the fact that her pretty, big eyes had been on Austin that night. The fact that his eyes had been eating her up.
I can’t take her, or how beautiful she is, or the fact that every living, breathing male out there is going to want a piece of her. She’s the fucking perfect package of looks and personality. So I’ve kept away the last week. Locked myself in my room. Refused to speak to her.
I keep a wall between us because I have to. Being near her tests my sanity and willpower. Being near her wearing nothing but a bikini on her fine as fuck, sinfully curved, petite little body that begs for me to touch it?
Death.
I’m surprised I’ve kept myself in check this long.
Every damn cell in my body that makes me a man is screeching at me to claim what’s mine. To fuck it so hard no one else will ever be able to have it, because she’ll never be able to think of anyone else but me.
That’s why I need this getaway. If I don’t get high, I’m going to fucking maul her. Throw her into the pool, rip her bikini off, and fuck her until all the water has splashed out.
I sigh and melt further into the mattress, letting my mind shut down.
I watch the smoke blow out, and as it dissipates, Kira appears in front of me. She’s standing at the door, staring at me, then she’s beside me, grabbing for my hand and the joint.
Mmm, my fantasy begins.
I pat next to me on the bed, begging my mirage to stay, continue. I blink, and when my eyes open, she’s hovering over me, taking another drag.
Did I put her on my lap? I have no clue, but she looks great there. Her skirt rides up, and I can see the flower print on her white panties resting over my cock. I groan and press up into her, my eyes closing, soaking in the feeling. I grab onto her hips, taking the dream, because it has to be a hallucination, in a direction I’ve always wanted it, wanted her.
I cup her face with my free hand, pulling her lips down to mine, then tangling my hand in her hair, fisting it. Her lips are succulent and delicious, soft against mine. She tastes so fucking good and I want more. I want her clamping around my cock, crying out my name. I rock against her, harder with each thrust. Her little hands are hot against my skin, burning me as she tugs my shirt up. I shiver, hot and excited and never wanting this high to end.
I have to adjust my cock, free it before my jeans strangle it. It’s so tight and hard, and I shove my hand under the waistband to cup it, soothe the ache.
“I want to see it.” Kira’s voice is just above a breath, and I can almost feel her pulse speed up against my lips.
“What do you want to do with it?” I groan as she pops the button. I can have it, what I want, all I have to do is take it. She’s practically begging, but that’s always how she is in my fantasies.
“Everything.”
The zipper moves down, and I let a out choking breath before I take another drag. I don’t want to lose it, can’t have it all fading away. I set the joint down on a plate next to the bed, then turn back to her. Heavy-lidded eyes gaze back before her lips press to mine. Fuck, I could come. It wouldn’t take much. I reach between us, dying to feel how wet she is.
I groan again, twitching so hard I feel like I’m going to bust through my jeans before she can get me out—she’s soaking through her silly little panties. Wet, purring above me, nails scratching on my skin. I rub her in time with my cock; her hands are still on the band of my boxer briefs as her breath catches. The head of my dick peaks in and out as her hips rock against my fingers and she stares down in fascination.
I grab onto her ass, shifting her forward. “Pull.”
She does, exposing about half of my eight inches, sucking in a breath before I slam my lips to hers. One hand on her hip, the other on my cock, I run her wet panties up and down my shaft, pressing into her pussy, hitting her clit, thinking about tearing them from her, then pushing her down on me.
I hiss, sitting on the edge. I want to come. I want to come in her. She’s mine. It’s what I’ve always wanted.
Mark her insides.
The first.
Her last.
I can’t take anymore. I need to taste her before it all ends, before the mirage fades away.
I yank hard on her hips, and she stumbles up my body until I have her right where I want her. Her thighs straddle my head, her pussy inches from my mouth. The panties have slipped back over, hiding what I want. My nose runs along the fabric that’s damp from what I’ve done to her. She smells perfect—all woman, heady, and musk.
My cock pulses and my hips thrust, searching out friction, searching out skin, begging to release. One of my hands squeezes her hip while the other moves the cotton away.
She’s the softest shade of pink, puffy lips glistening with her want. I groan and lean in for my first taste. My tongue starts at the bottom and swipes up.
She gasps, loud and melodic, fingers gripping my hair and pulling when my tongue flicks her clit.
It’s too much. It’s just enough.
My hand digs into her thigh with what I’m sure is a bruising grip, my hips jerking as I latch onto her clit.
And I’m gone.
My cock explodes all over my stomach and I don’t give a shit except for the pounding pleasure. Everything is white, empty, serene, if just for a few seconds.
But when I come down, my dream continues. Kira’s still here, pussy on my lips. My cock twitches, the last drops oozing onto my abs. I start eating her out, needing to taste her come, feel her come. I want her thighs shaking around my head as I give her what no other has.
“Shit! Shit, oh my God, Brayden.” She’s panting, begging, riding my face. Her fists clench my hair harder, pushing me deeper. I lick everywhere, nip and taste and devour all of her.
I’m so deep in she won’t let me flick her clit anymore; all I can do is etch myself into her walls with my tongue. I need her to come, so I take control back, growling against her as I grip her hips and pull her down. My teeth graze against her clit and I bite.
A choking, screaming sob erupts from her as all movement stops. All but the thigh quaking, body-convulsing, pussy-pulsing of her coming into my mouth.
The taste of her on my lips, on my tongue, swallowing her slick juice, and the pain of her lasting grip on my hair makes me realize that it’s not a dream.
Kira’s pussy really is on my mouth.
In my high, I don’t give a shit that it’s wrong, that I vowed to stay away from her, that she’s my stepsister. None of it matters, only that my name spilled from her lips in a moment of ecstasy I gave her.
And the world has never been more right.
She releases me, panting, unable to move, unwilling to leave.
If it’s not going to end, I need more.
So much fucking more.
I need my cock deep inside her, claiming that sweet little pussy of hers.
Claiming what’s mine.


K.I. Lynn

K.I. Lynn is the USA Today Bestselling Author from The Bend Anthology and the Amazon Bestselling Series, Breach. She spent her life in the arts, everything from music to painting and ceramics, then to writing. Characters have always run around in her head, acting out their stories, but it wasn't until later in life she would put them to pen. It would turn out to be the one thing she was really passionate about.

Since she began posting stories online, she's garnered acclaim for her diverse stories and hard hitting writing style. Two stories and characters are never the same, her brain moving through different ideas faster than she can write them down as it also plots its quest for world domination...or cheese. Whichever is easier to obtain... Usually it's cheese.


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N. Isabelle Blanco

N. Isabelle Blanco is the Amazon Bestselling Author of the Allure Series, the Need Series with K.I.Lynn, and many others. At the age of three, due to an odd fascination with studying her mother’s handwriting, she began to read and write. By the time she’d reached kindergarten, she had an extensive vocabulary and her obsession with words began to bleed into every aspect of her life.

That is, until coffee came a long and took over everything else.

Nowadays, N. spends most of her days surviving the crazy New York rush and arguing with her characters every ten minutes or so, all in the hopes of one day getting them under control.


NEWSLETTER 

Review The Dom Vs. The Virgin by Alice Ward

Monday, May 15, 2017
Title: The Dom Vs. The Virgin
Author: Alice Ward
Series: The Beasts of Baseball (Book 5)
Genre: Sports Romance, Humor
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: May 12 2017
Source: Hidden Gems ARC Service
Rating:
Blurb/Synopsis:
I'm a Dom. She's a Virgin. But not for long.

Living life as a recluse, I’ve quietly built my wealth under the radar of public attention. Then I followed my dream and created the New York Beasts, a bunch of MLB misfits who just won the f’ing World Series. I’m not under the radar now. In fact, everyone wants a piece of me.

How the hell I allowed myself to be part of a reality show, I’ll never know. But here I am, facing nine single women who see only two things — fresh man meat and big dollar signs.

Except her.

Beautiful, young, innocent Emery Rose didn’t plan on being here either. She’s flown under the radar too. But that won’t stop me from hunting her. Or from her hunting me.

She doesn’t know what she’s in for. Yeah, I might be the Beasts' Daddy, but the real beast is me.

Thoughts 

Dirty, Delicious, and just the right amount of Sass

This was my first read by Alice Ward and I guarantee it will not be my last. The heart melting sweet and panty dissolving hotness were on point and with a good dose of sass added into the mix I couldn’t put this one down! The characters were all on point even down to the snobby and vindictiveness from some of the secondary characters.  
"Rhett Hamilton, swoon, that man is sex on a stick!" 
"Rhett and Emery’s Story kept me burning from page to page. The chemistry between the two of them was undeniable and hot" 
I loved this story plot as well it was fresh and fun. So many books lately all revolve around the same thing and this one just stood out amongst the sea of so many titles and books that are so alike. It was fresh reading a title that was not similar to so many others. 
I enjoyed this title so much I went back and purchased all other titles in The Beasts of Baseball Series.

**** Disclosure of Material: I received a final and/or advanced reader copy of this book from Hidden Gems and the Author/Publisher with the hope that I will leave my Unbiased Opinion. I was not required to leave a review, positive or otherwise, and my opinions are just that... My Opinions. I am posting this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising". *****


Purchase Links
Amazon 

Excerpt Found Here

The Beasts of Baseball
(All Links Go to Amazon)
Ace's Wild Book 2
Hard to Catch Book 3
Winning Streak Book 4 





Giveaway Setting the Hook by Andrew Grey

Friday, May 12, 2017

Title: Setting the Hook
Author: Andrew Grey
Series: Standalone 
Genre:  M/M Contemporary Romance
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Release Date: May 12 2017
Edition/Formats Available In: eBook & Print 
Blurb/Synopsis:
It could be the catch of a lifetime. William Westmoreland escapes his unfulfilling Rhode Island existence by traveling to Florida twice a year and chartering Mike Jansen’s fishing boat to take him out on the Gulf. The crystal-blue water and tropical scenery isn’t the only view William enjoys, but he’s never made his move. A vacation romance just isn’t on his horizon.
William Westmoreland escapes his unfulfilling Rhode Island existence by traveling to Florida twice a year and chartering Mike Jansen’s fishing boat to take him out on the Gulf. The crystal-blue water and tropical scenery isn’t the only view William enjoys, but he’s never made his move. A vacation romance just isn’t on his horizon.
Mike started his Apalachicola charter fishing service as a way to care for his daughter and mother, putting their safety and security ahead of the needs of his own heart. Denying his attraction becomes harder with each of William’s visits.
William and Mike’s latest fishing excursion starts with a beautiful day, but a hurricane’s erratic course changes everything, stranding William. As the wind and rain rage outside, the passion the two men have been trying to resist for years crashes over them. In the storm’s wake, it leaves both men yearning to prolong what they have found. But real life pulls William back to his obligations. Can they find a way to reduce the distance between them and discover a place where their souls can meet? The journey will require rough sailing, but the bright future at the end might be worth the choppy seas.

Blitz Cursed by Jennifer Chance w/Giveaway

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

A countess flees home—and the family curse requiring her to marry a prince—to hide out in the South Carolina low country. There, she meets a man who’s not quite a prince…but who steals her heart all the same.  

Find out what happens in the fifth installment in Jennifer Chance’s Crowns and Gowns series, CURSED!


Title: Cursed
Author: Jennifer Chance
Series: Gowns and Crowns (Book 5)
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Fairy Tales
Publisher: Elewyn Publishing
Release Date: Jan 10 2017
Edition: 1st
Formats: eBook
Blurb/Synopsis:
When the prince she was supposed to marry falls for someone else, Edeena Saleri is done with Garronia's courts, crowns, and family curses. She grabs her sisters and escapes to the nobility-free coast of South Carolina, USA.

Refuge isn't anything like it's supposed to be, however. The family's island vacation home now borders a singles' retreat, which Edeena's sisters embrace all too eagerly. Worse, the private protection firm Edeena hires is run by the most infuriating man she's ever met--a rough-hewn, dark-eyed, charismatic charmer named, of course, Prince. He's not a royal and he's nowhere near noble, so there's no way he can break the family curse. And yet...

Vincent "Prince" Rallis has spent his whole life justifying his name. The son of hardworking immigrant parents, he's hustled for every dime, finally building a personal security firm with the muscle and grit to live up to its promises. He's used to keeping his cool, but when the high-strung, high-class Edeena shuts him down despite her obvious interest, pride demands he fight for her--even if he has to track her back to her glittering court to prove his point. Only once Prince arrives in the seaside kingdom of Garronia, he finds his troubles are just beginning.

Sometimes love in Garronia can be magic. And sometimes you're just Cursed.

Purchase NOW at Amazon 

Release Day the Saint Jude Rules by Dominic Adler

Thursday, May 4, 2017
Title: the Saint Jude Rules
Author: Dominic Adler
Series: Cal Winter Series (Book 3)
Genre: Thriller, Suspense, Mystery, Military, Politics, Spies
Publisher: Thistle Publishing
Release Date: May 4 2017
Edition: 1st Edition
Format: eBook & Print
Blurb/Synopsis:

Cal Winter: Junkie. Murderer. Winner of the Military Cross for Gallantry.

Penniless and desperate, Cal Winter is coerced into working for a band of freelance paramilitaries known as The Firm. After a decade of deniable killing, he plots revenge. Armed with a secret file of The Firm's dirtiest secrets, Winter returns to London. There he discovers the organisation has evolved into something even worse…

Winter assembles a careworn team of The Firm's cast-offs and misfits. Their enemy: a ruthless warrior elite, information warfare specialists battle-honed in the West's 'Forever Wars'.

From Iceland to the City of London, to the lonely marshes of England's southern coast, Winter must stop The Firm. Not just to save the country he once scorned, but to fulfil his vow to be a better man.

a dark Journey into the light by Josef

Tuesday, May 2, 2017


Author: Josef
Series: Standalone
Genre: Autobiography
Publisher: Self – Published
Release Date: Sept 17 2016
Edition/Formats: eBook
Blurb/Synopsis:
A dark Journey into the light is an interesting and thought provoking read for anyone who has questioned urges and desires familiar to us all. I spent sixty years of my life in “limbo” trying to understand what was driving me to explore every fantasy I could find. We all enjoy sex but the book provides interesting insights into the workings of the mind of a sex addict. We are much more than what we feel, and less than what we think. This book explores what is possible when we find balance between the two. This is not a story of finding redemption through “finding God”. It’s simply the story of finding myself.

Available for Purchase NOW 
Book Links
Amazon Australia
Amazon Canada
Amazon UK
Amazon US

A Dark Journey into the Light was a lifetime in the making and more than 2 years in the writing. One of the biggest issues in life is sex and people usually make a choice. They either follow their desires, or they don't. This book looks at the issues that arose, and the conflict of emotions I had to deal with when I chose both, although it more correctly felt like they chose me. Life became an exercise in learning about myself by exploring what "lies beneath" as it reared it’s head and found it’s way to the surface. There was no way around the exploration because the battle for supremacy raging between the two was inside me. What was the war all about and what would become of me? This book is about my journey of continuing self-discovery as I move through the mystery we call life.
The book is an autobiography so it's pretty much all about me and who I am. I suppose there are a few small things that aren't covered. For instance, I like dogs and horses and I love gardening. I'm a country boy and grew up with spiders and snakes, and although I'm not keen on spiders if one crawls up my trouser leg they don't freak me out either. A snake up the trouser leg though would be a different story! Think “a hillbilly version of River Dance.” I love long hikes over the mountains or across the plains. Just as long as I'm walking somewhere, but at times I wonder if I'm just trying to leave something behind.
A Dark Journey into the Light is an interesting and thought provoking book for anyone who has ever questioned urges and desires familiar to us all. It provides interesting insights into the workings of the mind of a sex addict. We are much more than what we feel, and less than what we think. This book explores the healing that is possible when we find balance between the two.


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Note from the Author

This is the story of my life. It has not been fabricated, exaggerated, or embellished in any way. It’s the raw truth and I’m not really sure why I’m writing it, but my therapist thinks it’s a good idea, and I can understand her reasoning about that. Writing down my life’s story might simply be a part of the healing process, so I can finally move on with my life and live it like a normal person.
All my life I’ve wished for nothing more than just to be normal, as I’ve looked around and envied other people’s untroubled lives. At least that is how they appear on the surface. We can all be quite certain that most people harbor some secrets in their lives. Those secrets might be small things they regret or feel ashamed about. I wish people did not need to have secrets and live in fear and guilt about their lives, because most things people hide from are not worth the stress, but I guess I’m the same.
Maybe I should be able to shout from the rooftops, and tell the world I’m not afraid or ashamed of my life, but in my heart I know many people will stand in judgment of me. At the same time, I know deep down a lot of people would applaud my courage if I did so, even if their own fears prevented them from supporting me publicly. Therein lies the problem.
If you stand outside society’s norm you stand alone, through social judgment and fear. Maybe I should just include it all in the category of fear, and leave judgment out of it, considering all judgment has its roots in fear.
Fear; the prime mover for almost every expression in our lives. What would it be like to be free of fear?
Everyone has their problems, and people go through a great deal of pain and suffering. I personally know people I would not trade places with for anything on earth. We are all plagued by similar run-of-the-mill issues, such as marriage breakups, financial problems, health issues, and everything else that goes with living on this planet, as we try to coexist with a whole lot of people. With most of them we have almost nothing in common, except a pattern of similar reactions that maintain a reasonable level of “sanity” in society. And it is all bound in fear.
It doesn’t sound like much of a way to live, but if you question people about their lives and propose the idea that they are living in fear, almost all of them will disagree. Some will even become angry, and possibly violent, if you dare to start a debate with them on the issue. The cruel irony is they won’t see, even then, that their reaction to the idea of their lives being based on fear is in itself a fear-based reaction.
So why don’t I tell people about my life? Why don’t I stand up, step out of the shadows society creeps around in, and put my trust in people to accept my life?
Simple. People cannot be trusted.
Everyone knows this because everyone has a secret. The only variable is the size of the secret, and mine would attract a massive excess baggage fee if I packed it in a suitcase and boarded a plane.
I’ve experienced, or still do to some degree, all those problems I spoke about: divorce, health, finance, and so on. I’m not saying my life is difficult in the main, and in fact I often count myself lucky, giving thanks for my life and the many things I enjoy, because unlike some others, at least I have my health. I can walk, talk, eat, see, and hear. I also have a brain that works well enough, which gives me the opportunity to make something of myself, and do something with my life. I really cannot complain, so what makes my life so different my therapist thinks it’s a good idea to write it down?
I don’t think the aspect of my life in question is particularly unusual, or different, from that of a large percentage of the population, so I guess it comes down to a question of degree and scope. When I consider those factors I can’t help feeling my life has been a little unusual to say the least, and a lot unusual to “say the most”.
There’s no doubt my life could, and would, be summed up by a lot of people with words like sick, deviant, gross, pathetic, abhorrent, disgusting, depraved, and so on.
These words are not new to me. I’ve tarred myself with every one of them over the years, and nobody else could project the depth of feeling in them more strongly than I have against myself. That projection evoked feelings of shame, guilt, unworthiness, and self-loathing that cannot be imagined. Even if I told you it’s impossible to imagine the things I’ve done, and then gave you a hint, you still would not guess at the depth and breadth of my life experience.
I’ve written about this in a way that tries to depict how I felt at the time and how I feel now, and can only use words or terms that make that possible. This book is not for the prudish or faint-hearted, so if you like your reality painted over and sugar-coated, then this is not for you, and I suggest you make a nice cup of tea and watch re-runs of Days of Our Lives instead.
I’m not complaining about my lot, and in some strange way I have even come to appreciate it after all this time. All I want now is to make some sense of it and possibly enrich the remainder of my life, and maybe even help someone else with theirs.
*
It all seemed to begin harmlessly enough as a young child in primary school but when I was a young teenager, an innocent conversation with my mother raised the idea in me that my turbulent, obsessive journey had actually begun when I was just a baby. I explore this in chapter 5.
In time I had no doubt about this, and it often led me to wonder whether it was some kind of karmic load I was unloading, or if I was building up a karmic load that would crush the life out of my soul.
This question would plague me throughout the decades to come, but whatever the explanation, I was powerless to do anything about it. All I could do was hang in, and hang on, as I plunged headlong through a chaotic world of sensory self-gratification.
Where do I even start to give someone an idea of the duality of the life I have lived for as long as I can remember? There is that old cliché about starting at the beginning, and it may be right, but let’s just skip ahead for a moment, because honestly, if I’m going to write this down I don’t have time for norms or clichés.
Skipping ahead will also give me a clear reminder of why I’m writing this, and what I’m writing about. I’ll come back later and try to join some dots to give a clearer picture of what it always felt like to me: a life unlived. Is that too dramatic, to call it a life unlived? I lived something, didn’t I?
We all have some notion of what life should be like, or what we wish it was like, but in my mind and heart my life never measured up to any of my wishes. It just never felt like living. It felt like I was trapped in some kind of time warp, or parallel universe, where I could only watch my life happening around me as though it was someone else’s. But it is what it is.
Ooops, that sounds like a cliché.


Giveaway & Excerpt Lost Mate by Dirk Greyson

Monday, May 1, 2017

Title: Lost Mate
Author: Dirk Greyson
Series: Standalone
Genre: M/M, Paranormal Romance, Shifters
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Release Date: May 1 2017
Edition/Formats Available In: eBook & Print 
Blurb/Synopsis:
Wolf shifter Falco Gladstone knew Carter McCloud was his mate when they were in seventh grade, but school and the foster care system tore them apart. Years later, Falco is second in command of his Michigan pack, serving under an uncle who cares more about his own power than the welfare of their people. The alpha orders Falco to marry and produce offspring—but Falco’s already found his mate, and mates are forever.
Carter’s lonely life is turned upside down when he detects a familiar scent on the wind. The mates might have found each other, but their happily ever after is far from guaranteed. Falco’s commitment to Carter puts him at odds with his uncle’s plans, and when one of the alpha’s enforcers starts shadowing the couple, something must be done—something that will either cement their relationship or destroy it once and for all.

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